by Andrew Frisella April 29, 2010 4 min read
You want to know a sure fire way to never ever get what you want in life? Start compromising.
Think about it. How many times has your comprising with yourself forced you to settle with something you really didn’t even want?
Look around you:
• Is the job you have your dream job?
• Is the relationship you’re in better than you ever thought a relationship could be?
• Are you in the kind of shape you’d like to be in?
• Is your life at this point in time all you ever dreamed it would be and more?
If you answered no to any of these I say to you:
Why the hell not?
Chances are somewhere along the line you have made what, at the time, seemed like small compromises with yourself. Small compromises like buying a one size larger pair of jeans, going up to next belt loop or buying shorts with elastic in them because they’re “comfy”. Maybe you stay in a relationship because it’s easy and things are “pretty good” and you don’t want to go through the drama of ending it. How about when you took that job because it was steady pay and quit going after what you really wanted because it was going to be “really hard”?
I guarantee you that if you have an area that you aren’t completely happy with in your life you can track the cause of it down to one, or a series of, small compromises you have made in that area. All these sorts of compromises do is adjust your standards down a notch so that you can be comfortable with yourself.
You do realize that these seemingly small compromises you make on a daily basis are exactly what’s keeping you from the life you truly want, don’t you?! Every single one of these compromises you make is, in a sense, the beginning of the end of your dreams.
Listen guys, “really hard” isn’t revving up and tenaciously going after the life you want with everything you have, forcing things to happen for you and never taking no for an answer. “Really hard” is living a life full of regret because you settled for an existence you never wanted because you didn’t have the courage or fortitude to make things happen for yourself.
No one is holding you back except you and your compromised standards. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, do some soul searching, remember what it really is you wanted from life and get out there and do it!
We’re all guilty of it sometimes, the key is to minimize bad (compromising) decisions by being able to recognize it when making the decision. From here on out, when you come to a fork in the road and you have an easy path and a difficult one, do yourself a favor and take the difficult path…99% of the time it’s going to be the most rewarding.
Don’t be like everyone else! Don’t let life get the best of you and force you into a “normal” existence. Keep your standards high. Don’t lower them for anything or anyone…ever! If you’ve let them slip slowly over the years its time for an adjustment. Turn the ole standards dial back up and get back to it. It’s never too late.
Yes, this attitude is going to make other people uncomfortable. Yes, you’re going to get a lot more resistance. Yes, this attitude forces other people close to you to come face to face with their own compromises they’ve made (and most of the time it’s not a very fun process to deal with) but that’s for them to worry about, not you. People want you to fit in because it allows them to remain comfortable and when you don’t they don’t like it and do whatever they can to derail your expectations for yourself, so be ready for it. You’ll probably grow apart from some people and maybe even lose a few “friends”…but at least you’ll find out who your true friends are.
Ignore the naysayers. It’s all part of the game. Any time you are excelling at anything there are always some people who are going to doubt it, talk about and flat out hate it. Do you really care? If you do, it’s time to hang up your blanky, graduate from 6th grade and get in line with reality.
If someone ever tells you (and they will) your standards are too high, that you’re not being realistic or even if they laugh in your face, just smile and know that these statements are EXCELLENT indicators that you’re on the right track!
Life rewards those who hold high standards and refuse to compromise. Its very simple, if you never compromise or quit you’ll ALWAYS be successful at an endeavor.