by Will Grumke August 25, 2021 7 min read
You know, unfortunately, this is a very common problem that many people face during their fitness journey ... and sometimes there seems to be no easy solution to it.
As you are learning, fitness is definitely a lifestyle ... and it’s important to note that it’s a lifestyle not everyone is willing to commit to. It’s a commitment you make to yourself to become a better version of yourself.
A healthy, fit body & mind can become a tremendous platform to help accelerate all other aspects of your life in the right direction.
Many times, implementing a new lifestyle can be a monumental change from the lifestyle you were leading prior to making the decision to change.
It requires planning, discipline, hard work, sacrifice, investment, and especially ... RESILIENCE.
That's because there are always going to be bumps in the road.
A missed workout here, a skipped meal there, unexpected events or trips that make it difficult for you to stick to your program … but those aren't the only challenges you will face...
Unfortunately, at some point along your journey, or while making a lifestyle change, you'll have to deal with unsupportive people in your life ... maybe even during this holiday season.
Which sucks ... but that's reality.
Getting in shape, and staying there, can be hard enough already.
The last thing you want or need is friends, family, or a spouse who are constantly, whether it's intentional or unintentional, holding you back from your goals.
It can be extremely frustrating, especially because we think these are the very people who are supposed to have our back!
The important thing to understand about this is that although you can’t control what people do or say, you can control who you surround yourself with and how you react to people's thoughts and opinions.
The reality is, most people are competitive beings (whether they want to admit it or not) ... and on top of that, most people also like to be comfortable at the same time.
Which is interesting, as those would seem like opposites ... and certainly don’t make for a good combination.
It’s like saying; “I want to be the best, but I don’t want to do anything to get there.”
It just doesn’t work.
To have success, you have to learn to constantly push past your comfort zone and grow as a person.
Most of the time, when people see someone succeeding at something they themselves haven’t been able to accomplish, it makes them feel bad about themselves.
Everyone has his or her own way of dealing with this when it happens. Some people will be inspired to step up to your level, which can be an awesome experience ... and at the same time, strengthen your bond and create an even better relationship.
Unfortunately, this usually isn’t the case.
Most people, instead of working hard themselves to make themselves better, they’d rather just keep you right where you are for their own self-comfort. That way, they don’t have to do any work, and they can avoid the feelings of inadequacy you're inadvertently causing them through your own success.
This attitude almost always manifests itself in unsupportive behavior...
Such as your friends trying to peer pressure you into a night of drinking or into eating a bunch of shit food that’s not on your plan...
They say things like “C’mon, it's only one night” or “One meal isn’t going to hurt”...
Hell, they might even make fun of you or take a few jabs at you in a "joking" manner.
Many times these people simply don’t understand how hard they are making it for you.
That's why creating a new lifestyle forces you to evaluate the relationships you currently have.
Along with evaluating the relationship, I would encourage you to have an honest and straightforward conversation with the people in your life.
Sometimes it can be uncomfortable at first. However, when you explain that you have goals, and how their actions affect you ... that conversation can be just the thing to turn them from a negative influence to a positive one.
The people who truly care about you and want to see you succeed will make an effort to stop the toxic behaviors that are causing issues ... but there are other people who will continue these behaviors regardless.
When these situations happen, there are basically three different ways you can handle these kinds of people.
If you find yourself unable to ignore the criticism, try getting those people involved in what you are doing. Many times you’ll find that people just don’t have the courage, strength or understanding to take the first steps on their own.
You may just be the influence they need to get on track with what they really want to do. It’s a lesson in leadership, and there is nothing more rewarding than genuinely helping someone achieve his or her goals.
The hard part is dealing with those who continue to make life hard on you even after you’ve made your goals known.
These people are the ones who will never understand and they are likely friends “leftover” from your previous lifestyle.
For example, if your previous lifestyle included living at a bar every night from 5 pm till close ... those friends aren't likely to have a lot of interest in your new lifestyle of fitness ... and that’s ok!
It doesn’t make them a bad person … it doesn’t make you a bad person … or someone who is all high and mighty now. You are simply choosing to make a change in your life.
You see, by making a conscious decision to raise your standards for yourself, your standards are now drastically different than those of your old group of friends.
They'll most likely be unable to relate or understand the reasons why you are doing the things you are doing.
In this case, it’s probably going to be time to cut ties. There is no reason for you to make things harder on yourself by surrounding yourself with people who are a constant negative influence.
If people can’t take the time to understand your goals, and are constantly trying to bring you down a few notches to their level, you have to question how much these people really care about you.
If you ultimately want to be successful in any area of life ... be it fitness, business, relationships or anything else ... surrounding yourself with positive people who support your goals is a must.
You need to have these types of people in your life.
You only have so much energy ... wasting energy dealing with unsupportive friends means you have less energy to actually go after your goals!
So hanging out with “Negative Nancy” is only going to lessen your chances of achieving what you really want, because it’s going to wear you out and drain you along the way.
Ridding yourself of these people is not easy though...
It’s tough … no doubt about it!
It's something I struggled with for too long.
It's also something that wasn't an instant switch. You're not going to just wake up one day and all of a sudden only have supportive people in your life.
It's going to take time ... you're going to have to work through the process ... you're going to struggle with it in the beginning...
But the reality is, it will be worth it.
This is your life ... You are in control.
So, while this may be tough to at first, it would be a lot tougher to live with regrets and resentment toward your friends, family, and yourself for not having the courage to go after what it is you really want in life!
The bottom line is this ... making a lifestyle change is hard.
You are going to struggle.
You're going to want/wish all your friends and family would support you unconditionally ... and in an "ideal" world they would ... but the real world doesn't work like that.
The reality is, you will have friends and family who don't support you, and may even try to sabotage you or peer pressure you into your old ways ... don't let them.
Stay strong. Stay true to what you want. Stay positive and work to find the people who will support you!
Even if they are people who are not in your life right now, there are people who will support you. There are people who will help you succeed. There are people who want to improve their lives, like you, in the 1st Phorm App who will support you!
Shoot, being guys who struggled with their own health, fitness, and making a change to a healthier lifestyle is one of the main reasons why Andy and Chris started 1st Phorm.
To build a company and a community of real people who can help and support other people to get the results they want.
Which is also the reason I am here today!
I became a customer myself in 2011 ... because I was looking for help, looking for support, looking for people to help me with my fitness lifestyle ... and I found it within this 1st Phorm Phamily!
So while you might have unsupportive people in your life ... don't let that derail you from chasing your goals and building the life of your dreams.
Focus on putting in the effort, doing the work and when you need help... need support ... know that we've got your back!
Pick up the phone and give us a call at 1-800-409-9732 Monday thru Friday, 6 am to 10 pm CDT, and talk with a real person here at our headquarters ... send us an email at CustomerService@1stPhorm.com ... either way, we will make sure you have the information, tools, resources, and support you need to reach your goals!
NASM Certified Personal Trainer, NASM Certified Nutrition Coach, NASM Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist, NASM Certified Weight Loss Specialist, NASM Certified Behavioral Change Specialist, NASM VCS Virtual Coaching Specialist, CrossFit Level 1 Trainer